Uncertain Sciences

Uncertain Science & Physics

This Sentience Thesis proposes the consciousness is comprised of unique sub-atomic matter.  The consciousness captures and accrues that matter (electrons) from the physical senses: touch, taste, smell, sight, hearing, etc.  The sensory content is supplemented with cognitive activity – deliberations, ideas, and choices, made while on earth.  The matter acquired from both sources sum to constitute the consciousness or soul.  The Thesis additionally asserts the content of the soul predicates a person’s eligibility for, and ability to survive, the eternal environment termed the afterlife.  The process of accruing matter is persistent and uninterrupted.  Each conscious and unconscious action and thought in life adds to the souls’ content.  It’s a remarkable process.

A variety of academic and secular disciplines were investigated to compose and validate the Sentience Thesis.  There are portions that require a thinking cap.  Be prepared.  I had to dumb some topics and concepts down to the lowest common denominator.  Frankly, I was initially unable to understand some postulates and hypothesis.  Reading… and re-reading… and re-re-reading… (Occasionally more times) was a process to which I grew accustomed.  Once the concepts and basics of quantum are understood, the principles and many details unravel.  Quantum physics is a marvelous study.  It tasks the brain and delves into the essence of matter and life on the smallest (known) scale.  Nothing exists without atoms and quarks - no matter, no energy, nothing.

Like most every discipline, or human endeavor, there are differences of opinion and divergent interpretations in quantum physics.  Some of the unresolved conflicts in quantum are strident and remarkable.  The disputed areas form fundamental and unavoidable concepts for physics and the Thesis.  They define “accepted and acceptable” properties and values associated with variables used in the equations that constitute essential principles of quantum physics.  Several critical assumptions in quantum were thus formed.  They are indispensable to the discipline.  Unbelievably, these differences remain unresolved one hundred years hence. 

“God does not roll dice.” was Einstein’s remark when one of the first “equation only” quantum assumptions arose - The Copenhagen Effect… The Uncertainty Principle.  Niels Bohr and Werner Heisenberg postulated the interpretation in 1927.  The Copenhagen Effect, or Uncertainty Principle, is an implicit quantum assumption.  It is central to comprehending quantum from a conditional, “ideological” view and it’s a doozey.  This assumption allows science to have reality both ways.  Incorporating uncertainty as reference standard assured absolutes are optional.  Absolutes required for other branches of science are conditional variables in quantum studies by design. 

  One component of the atom, the electron, is the focus of the Uncertainty Principle and the Thesis.  The electron is a curious and confounding sub-atomic component.  Words become very important here.  Component is used because science lacks the ability to determine if the electron is a wave, or a particle, or something else. 

Examining the atom is helpful to coordinate terminology.  The above image of the smallest atom, hydrogen, (above) reveals it contains one electron and one proton. The static image resembles a solar system – but it is crucial to know the electron is always in motion at light speed and it never stops.  In the image, the proton is larger.  It is the “sun” object for this purpose – and it is fixed.  The electron is the planet object orbiting the sun/proton.  It moves at the speed of light (maybe faster).  The image is almost correct.  But as you read above, the precise location of the electron has never been determined – not once.  Electrons, accordingly, remain an uncertain area of study and that is troublesome for several reasons.  When science began examining the generic atom, the electron’s location could not be determined – absolutely, precisely.  The size and relative location of each sub-atomic component is essential to comprehending the operations of each constituent part within the atom. 

To better comprehend the relationships within an atom, let’s enlarge our atom to the size of Yankee stadium. Enlarged, the proton is the size of a baseball on the pitcher’s mound/middle of the stadium.  The electron becomes the size of a BB – the ammunition used in a Red Rider rifle from the Christmas Story movie.  The electron is located at the bleacher farthest away from the pitcher’s mound in center field.  This enlarged example reveals the approximated size of the components and the distance between them. 

What appears a substantial empty space between the components of the atom may, or may not, actually exist.  Incredibly small objects moving at light speed in a correspondingly small environment, an environment where the objects are theorized to change states, and into other components, and, where the energy present influences the internal domain of the individual atom and the atoms with which they covalently congregate to form other matter and elements, is admittedly an extremely difficult task.   Physicists and scientists “discover” new components of sub-atomic matter – quarks with improved technologies and enhanced methods.  The potential for matter smaller than the sub-atomic components studied additionally exists.  What is known and accepted as fact is a temporary state.  New technologies regularly reveal new information, new facts; that are replaced once better technology and investigation methods enables that advance.  Conjecture and theory are established using the most current information that is believed substantiated and verified. 

When you touch a solid object, you actually make contact with the extremely small electron orbiting around the proton - at light speed.  What the human senses detect as solid matter is presumed a tiny object orbiting a proportionally vast empty space.  Our fingers do not sense movement because of the small size and speed of the electrons in the matter touched and within the finger.  The defects of human anatomy and biology delay transmitting the sensation instantaneously.  Detection of an object that small is not possible, owed to the imprecise qualities of the human body – fingertip.   The diameter of the hydrogen atom is calculated as approximately one million times smaller than the human hair. The diameter ranges from about 0.1 to 0.5 nanometers (1 × 10-10 m to 5 × 10-10 m).  The electron’s small orbit at light speed makes locating the electron, using the technology currently available impossible.  Science may eventually develop technology to locate the electron.  But science and physicists refused to wait.

When science realized they lacked the technology and ability to conclusively determine the precise location of the electron – they faced a choice. Admit they couldn’t do it, or, develop math expressions to approximate a guess on the electron’s location.  Science formed the equation - hence the Uncertainty Principle.  This principle uses calculated guesswork to offer several “potential” electron locations.  This choice infuriated some scientists and physicists.  They objected.  They demanded quantum adhere to the same restrictions imposed on every other discipline.  Obviously, their objections were noted, but not applied.  The Uncertainty Principle was incorporated, codified, and in conjunction with other math expressions, pressed the study of quantum forward.  Each subsequent guess on the electron further clouds reality and the actual information sought, and needed, to explore accurately… responsibly…  within the limits of the Scientific Method and basic philosophical truths.  What approximations miss (the errors present and created) stand to be significant.  The information lost and errors compound each time the calculation is used and a new equation is layered upon the previous equation(s).  In lieu of tangible, precise information, the exact properties of an electron cannot be determined by approximation.  Truth is masked.  A generic, utilitarian, approximated value makes due. 

The known and accepted properties and behaviors of the electron – as might be expected – are bizarre, maddening, and occasionally impossible – compared to classic physics and other tangible and accepted laws of science.  The electron’s uncertainty tortures “conventional” logic and rationality. 

Science wanted to discover legitimate evidence regarding the electron/photon and devised an experiment to collect the evidence – the Dual Slit.  This experiment exposed the disturbing and confounding properties of the electron and the “Uncertain” reality that partially defines it.  The Dual Slit experiment was one of the earliest quantum investigations designed. The outcome of the Dual Slit experiment must have blown the physicist’s minds – and frustrated their objectives.  The outcome has not changed since the first attempt.  When analyzed – the results continue to challenge rational evaluations and expectations.  It also redefines our perceived physical and metaphysical realities – depending upon your perspective.  The results display God’s remarkable ability to confound man and science in plain sight.  The answers are present.  At least one is glaring and obvious.  It is science’s prejudiced standards of evaluation that compromise and confounds their efforts.

The design of the Dual Slit experiment involves shooting a stream of electrons/photons through two barriers placed a few inches away from the device emitting the electrons.  The barriers and capture plate are staggered – each a few inches apart moving away from the electron “gun”.  The first barrier has one vertical slit.  A second barrier sits behind the first and contains two vertical slits.  The electron/photons passing thru the slits in both barriers impacts a capture plate where the electron locations are recorded, verified, and analyzed.

Any stream of electrons/photons used in the Dual Slit experiment are (assumed) waves of matter as they leave the gun.  This description of electrons is what science initially thought.  The results of the Dual Slit experiment recalibrated and re-defied what science thought.  The pattern the electrons/photons produced on the capture plate (in a rational world) should resemble the light waves shot through the double slits.  That did not happen.  Unexpectedly, dots, particles of matter (not waves) accumulated into groups that formed columns on the capture plate.  The far right portion of the image below shows how the particles arranged.  The electrons were presumed in waveform when released from the gun - based upon previous behaviors observed.  Defying expectations and rationality, when the capture plate was examined the anticipated collection of waves had changed, and became a collection of particles that formed an amazing pattern.

 

There are only two slits on the second barrier plate.   How these particles arranged themselves into columns of particles remains unknown to this day.  Amazingly, if a wider capture screen is used, there are more groups of rows.  It appears the waves/particles organize themselves into ordered groups.  The electrons also form a “graduated” image like shading.  The electrons gather into what may be compared to vertical cylinders in repeating gradations of intensity.  Columns of intense, compacted particles gradually fade to very few particles, then back to intense columns of particles - repeatedly. 

The capture screen is flat – essentially two-dimensional.  Nothing in the configuration of the capture plate contributes to the pattern produced; that science can determine. 

The act of experimentation - capturing physical evidence of the electron/photon using specific conditions, defied rational expectations.  Particles, not waves were produced.  The environment created by the conducting experiment, can be inferred to influence or determine the components quantum state!  The experiment, potentially, reveals the electron can exist in either wave or particle state, or perhaps some other state (currently unknown) contingent upon specific environmental conditions.  Is it plausible the act of experimentation, an observer examining the component – trying to detect or capture the component, influenced, or predicated, the state the component adopted, and, when the state was adopted.  The cause and effect dynamics attributed to the component’s alternative state expands the potential rational explanations available.  Implying the electron/photon chose its state contingent upon the actions of the observer is rational.  Sentience is rational, potential condition, or quality, of the component.  The first observation of sentience - defined by the component reacting to the environment is feasible.  The second observation implies the sentience present inspired a response, or reaction “learned” from its predecessors.  Assuming a divine context and contribution, the sentience proposed aligns with phenomenon, explains causality, and supports the premise for a comprehensive, intelligent design; a divine design - God. Science ignoring the potential sentience ostensibly eliminates the possibility of a divine presence and influence.

More strange behaviors were noted as the study of electrons/photons expanded.  The sentience potential increases as the number of other inexplicable properties and behaviors of the electron/photon accumulate.  (Religion should embrace the results of this experiment and demand the most obvious potential explanation be considered.) 

A review of the amazing and unpredictable properties and behaviors observed in the electron/photon includes:

The electron/photon is a sub-atomic component

The electron/photon move at light speed

The electron/photon is conditionally both a wave AND a particle.

The component can occupy the different states and locations - simultaneously. 

The components, when entangled, can share “information” faster than light speed across vast distances. 

Electricity is the flow of electrons.  Electrical energy present in a body is recognized by medicine and science as evidence of life.  The presence of life is determined using an electro-encephalogram, EEG.  The EEG detects and measures electricity in the brain.   An absence of this energy indicates no life - death. 

The photon/electron’s known, and potential behaviors, are why this study is termed Sentient.  The results arising from the Dual-Slit experiment indicates the electron/photon potentially changes its state based upon the conditions in the environment the experiment, and observation, create.  Rational analysis of the information produced by the experiment’s several outcome(s) must include the observed phenomenon that indicates potential sentience: “to sense”. 

When science conducted the double slit experiment and encountered this inexplicable reality that defies classic physics (and common sense) they faced a significant quandary.  All the baffling behaviors needed explaining.  At the time of the first Dual Slit experiment, science only had classic physics for reference and basic analog tools to enhance their investigations.  Science couldn’t entirely explain the phenomena with the tools and information possessed.  New interpretations, and conclusions, and postulates, were created trying to explain what the Dual Slit experiment revealed – from a secular perspective… poorly.  The analysis and resulting interpretations did not locate a documented opinion that considered the potential for electron/photon sentience, nor did science conclude the potential of an undetected dimension present within the boundaries of the electron shell, or BOTH!

The explanation chosen by science served one concern well.  Science chose expedience.  Exploring the quantum realm using Uncertainty preserved their authority as the holders and givers of truth and fact.  Science refused to admit not enough information was known to form a credible and legitimate conclusion that explained the electrons behaviors in the Dual Slit – based upon traditional standards.  Conflicts arose between physicists and other disciplines of physics and science.  Quantum physics was a relatively new field of research.  Professional opportunities awaited those who could provide explanations for very small pieces of matter.  With few, or no comparative benchmarks established, and fewer experts able to comprehend the mathematical expressions used to validate, or disprove, the assertions made; complex equations and calibrated conjecture sufficed.

Not every physicist or scientist was content with the “uncertain” conclusions drawn.  Albert Einstein was one of several who rebuked the uncertainty findings.  Another was physicist Edwin Schrodinger.  Uncertainty, the Copenhagen Effect, moved Schrodinger to posit the Cat Paradox: 

A cat is placed inside a box with a deadly compound, that, if released, will kill the cat.  When a person opens the box to examine the cat, the act may trigger the deadly compound.  The cat will be alive, or dead – depending upon WHEN, (or, as learned from photon behaviors: “WHERE and potentially HOW”) a person opens the box to investigate the cat. 

The Copenhagen Effect permits mischief and introduces chance for causality.  Chance in mathematical calculations requires special operators.  Schrodinger, a young physicist seeking fame and fortune, complied and delivered - Ψ.  Other physicists added their own operators when conventional math failed to deliver, or was unable to design, the desired results.  Predictably, Schrodinger grew unhappy with the direction of quantum physics; the absence of verifiable and tangible evidence and controls among other concerns.  Erwin Schrodinger was an immense intellect who provided the discipline a formula and math operator to quantify chance, or change, overtime.  Schrodinger’s amazing work is evidence of his considerable mind.  He made profound statements that detail his dissatisfaction with the indeterminate structure of quantum physics that “evolved” within the discipline.

“I don’t like it (quantum mechanics) and I’m sorry I ever had anything to do with it.”

“The verbal interpretation, on the other hand, i.e. the metaphysics of quantum physics, is on far less solid ground. In fact, in more than forty years physicists have not been able to provide a clear metaphysical model.”

"God knows I am no friend of probability theory, I have hated it from the first moment when our dear friend Max Born gave it birth. For it could be seen how easy and simple it made everything, in principle, everything ironed and the true problems concealed. Everybody must jump on the bandwagon [Ausweg]. And actually not a year passed before it became an official credo, and it still is."

Science continued trying to clarify the indeterminate, uncertain, state of the electron.  Niels Bohr calculated matrices of potential locations for electrons orbiting a nucleus in his work with Heisenberg – noted above.  Another physicist, Max Born, clarified Bohr’s analysis and suggested the electron/photon reside in a perpetual state of uncertainty.  Born’s Probability Density postulate suggests electrons/photons follow a predictable path, even if their location cannot be absolutely determined.  These behaviors form a “cloud” of probability density – see image below. 

The cloud metaphor is accurate.  It helps to visualize how the electron path creates the appearance and sensation of solid matter - when touched by a human hand or utilized.  Remember, though, the atom is presumed mostly empty space.  All matter on earth is comprised of atoms.  Concordantly, all matter is presumed mostly empty space.  Your body is no different.  Electrons whirling about at light speed in your finger tip make contact with moving electrons in any object touched and your brain comprehends a solid surface, or another state of matter.  Some matter, like a rock, is rigid and durable.  Other matter is fluid or gaseous.  Another stat is plasma.  Regardless of the state, all matter contains electrons spinning in an uncertain, indeterminate, orbit around various protons at light speed.  The number of protons, neutrons, and electrons determine the type, and weight of matter.  The more numerous the assemblies, the heavier it becomes.

Born’s postulate is significant because it implies “whole” electron particles are witnessed when the investigation of the experiment’s results is conducted. This contradicted Bohr’s conclusion that implied partial states, portions of electrons, are witnessed.  Both conclude the electron’s state is predicated on external investigation!  When acts of experimentation and examination seek to detect the electron, it changes its state in reaction to the investigation.   Science would term the most obvious explanation for the phenomena Super Natural.

The primary objective of the Sentience Theory is defining the human soul, or consciousness.  The soul consists of electrons/photons.  These objects of matter are essential and necessary for life - both human and animal.  Man enlarges his soul throughout a lifetime by accruing sensory experiences and conscious effort.  Combined with the behaviors acted out over a lifetime, man accrues and prepares his soul.  Per Einstein’s theory: Mass/Matter = Energy.  Further, classic science contends matter cannot be created nor destroyed.  This contention assumes all the matter in the universe was always present - a static assumption.  Additionally, the contention asserts matter cannot be destroyed or removed from the physical universe. 

The matter comprising a human consciousness, or soul, exits the body at death, or becomes undetectable.  Religion contends – the soul departs the body for an unknown location.  At future predetermined time, God interprets the content of the soul and judges the individual.  God then places the soul in an environment, and perhaps another vessel/body, where the individual continues on their eternal journey.  The consciousness, or soul, continues acquiring more data, information, expanding their intellect throughout eternity. 

 Relevant information arising from the study suggests the electron/photon is a unique component of an atom that contains and displays properties that are currently incomprehensible - due to technological limitations and the scale of the environment studied.  The Thesis asserts the electron/photon that provides life is an undetermined and unrecognized sub-atomic component.  The component exhibits sentience - a predictable response to external stimuli.  Evidence further suggests the electrons defy rational expectation and traditional classification.  An interpretation the electrons/photons are not universal, homogenous, sub-atomic components is cogent and stable -based upon evaluating the phenomena observed and available evidence. 

The uncertainty within the discipline of quantum mechanics suggests once investigation passes inside the atom shell (the orbit of the electron around the nucleus) many of the accepted laws that define classic physics change.  One component of the atom, the electron/photon, also displays characteristics that appear to defy classic views on reality and life - as we know it.  If conceptual reality, the reality bound to the laws defined as “classic (Newtonian) physics” - changes inside the atomic shell - the atom, the universe, the mysteries of God, our souls, and the continuity of the physical world - correspondingly changes.  If true, this infers the physical laws embraced by mankind and used in assessing the universe are not yet comprehensively understood.  A duality may exist in the reality recognized due to the limitations resident in perception.  Potentially, a different dimension, or the physical laws that order the sub-atomic domain, exists inside the boundaries of the electron shell!  Both conditions, new dimension and alternative rules are potentially accurate.   If the conditions predicated by the premise are valid, all the matter in the known universe is subject to, and influenced by, at least two sets of laws, and, life is far more complicated than currently assessed and presumed.  The Miller-Urey experiment and postulate infers and substantiates this conclusion. 

The Eternal Consciousness/Soul - a Quantum Enigma

There was no way of avoiding the conclusion my adopting prayer for an answer signaled I failed.   Failure was not an option I preferred, but my efforts left no real alternative.  Convincing myself I had no choice, and actually left no stone unturned, required a “comprehensive” investigation of all the information potentially available - reasoned and ludicrous.  Only then, could I honestly end the matter - and excuse my failing to find the answer on my own.  Besides, I knew assistance from a God would not be forthcoming.

I continued the prayers and my studies; convinced both efforts were pointless.  Prayer, however, provided an ancillary benefit.  The lack of divine intervention in answering the question permitted my cementing a belief no God existed.  As the days passed with no divine input, a laborious tedium infected the study.  I began re-reading some material that appealed to me for reasons not linked to the eternity question. Distractions also surfaced as I found previously missed concepts, phenomena, and conjecture that ranged from unusual to bizarre in the revisited material.  Unorthodox relationships and properties became apparent contemplating the behaviors of the electron/photon.  If specific associations were made, those conditions might bear upon the physical composition of the human consciousness. The consciousness might very well contain those components.  After all, human life was verified by measuring electrical activity in the body.  The consciousness was either a segment of human life, or a separate entity.  The inconsistencies within the consciousness were numerous, just like the electron/photon.  The mind often functioned perfectly despite injury or physical afflictions that compromised other areas of the body.  Catatonia was a radical separation of the two.  Spinal injuries were another.  Unusual phenomenon and missed relationships that altered my perspective materialized.  A terror unexpectedly startled me; like failing to see a threat, so perfectly camouflaged in the trappings of habits it goes undetected.  When it leaps to claim your life, it is so close a defensive respond is impossible and incompetent.

The moment the connections between the electron and consciousness became obvious severed my conceptual continuity, and incapacitated the minute reserves of competence remaining - credibility crumbs I preciously guarded like my integrity depended upon it.  A wave of remorse crushed me.  My beliefs shattered simultaneously.  I lost all confidence in my rational abilities with a sigh.  An immense vacancy in my intellect appeared.  A word I seldom used, but particularly appealed to me, entered my thoughts.  It perfectly described my situation – feckless.  My selfish priorities and the recently distilled intellectual solvency dissolved, like a hologram when the viewer’s perspective changes. The hierarchy of secular, indispensable conclusions about God I previously adopted with smug self-assuredness and rebellious indignation, dissembled under the revelation. These needed significant re-ordering.  A remarkable moment of exhilaration was replaced with astonished embarrassment.  The answer to the question entirely resided within the inexplicable and indeterminate quantum concept of “uncertainty”.

A sensory overload ensued considering all the potentials of uncertainty.  Uncertainty - the phenomenon that inferred sub-atomic states and quark properties (including potential sentience) and other extraordinary behaviors that defied classic, Newtonian physics, and subordinate scientific concepts and truths, stared back at me - blankly.  The confounding, contradictory phenomena and observed properties of uncertainty, mandated considering an extraneous, foreign, maybe alien, or, divine interdiction was ultimately responsible for the electron’s composition and behavior.  The electron’s creation was subject to the same intervention.  If the requisite, unsubstantiated, premise offered to legitimize the speculation explaining the origin of the universe does not account for the Uncaused First Cause - and - the matter, energy, and CHANCE, required to initiate that uncaused causality are concordantly unsubstantiated, unverifiable; pocked and marred with inconsistencies and overly hopeful interpretations; the source of that matter. and energy, and Chance, continues - anonymously, undetermined... Uncertain!  Chance, happenstance, “fate”, assumes omniscient importance as it rises to preeminence - the exclusive and fundamental causality for the scientific version of universal conception; and its progeny - the adjacent reality presumed.  This concept no longer made sense.  I expected better from science.

The electron/photon was matter moving at light speed.  Matter at that velocity overcomes the restrictions time imposes!  Potentially, a new dimensional time paradigm is available, and obtained.  Eternity is an absence of time.  Analogous relationships and obvious conclusion next materialized.  The human consciousness, the soul, is comprised of electrons/photons.  If that is true, eternal life was probable - much more than possible.  If the electron/photon comprised the soul, a God could exist, and probably existed.

As the facts and evidence materialized and aligned, I awoke from a self induced, decades long, cognitive coma.  I could no longer pretend God was Mr. Irrelevant.  Somehow, God fit perfectly into the evidence, and complimented ancillary conditions.  In desperation, I sought out conflicting evidence – to reaffirm my previous suspicions and conclusions no God was possible.  That search delivered more profound support refuting my efforts.  The divine connections and relationships were unavoidable, and, undeniable.  Then, philosophical factors materialized to insult and compound my fecklessness.  The divine variable united the ingredients with an eloquent equilibrium and undeniable surety.  The strict isolation protocols I planned, (separating the two perspectives to preserve my disbelief in God) ran together like colors in an Impressionist painting.  I saw the contingent continuity, how each component relied upon the other in a comprehensive collage of coordinated precision - perfection.  The majesty of a design that deftly, and delicately, subdued order for both extremes of magnitude and provided the environment where every particle of matter enjoys its relative and objective purpose across dimensions and timescales my feeble human mind could not comprehend, stunned me. My secular concentration subsided contritely.  The answer was unconditionally conditional.

God’s affections for mankind were bound within the collage.  That realization crippled my emotions.  It wasn’t overt.  God’s love was a mundane object my emotional misgivings overlooked.  It blended into the background of familiarity, and contempt blinded my considering it.  I slowly recognized and interpreted God’s collective handiwork.  No matter where I cast my gaze or directed my thoughts, irrefutable proof of God’s design and affections stood with guilt.  Guilt’s I told you so expression was unmistakable.  He mocked me and ridiculed my self styled intellectual prowess.  I had no rebuttal or rationale for argument.

God had blessed me in ways I ignored.  His favor continued despite my insufferable and petulant behaviors.  The paternal emotions expressed tolerated and transcended my volatility and vituperation; patiently waiting for me to respond and accept the gift – unconditionally.  Prodigal?  Didn’t matter. Welcomed back?  Yep.  The glut of evidence before me comprehensively convicted my incoherent secular conclusions.  Guilt gloated.  Years of anxiety and fears escaped the sanctuary of sanity and poured onto my face.  I couldn’t contain them or my shame and wept uncontrollably.

I felt the weight of disappointment my behaviors and choices expressed upon the sire of my soul.  Evidence of affection from the father I believed abandoned me was indisputable and ubiquitous.  It condemned my rationality, and arrogance.  The necessary limitations and obligations of the divine design precluded communication using the physical components of earthly life.  The frustrations of being unable to commune with the content of consciousness apportioned, or impart touch past a superficial, conceptual contact, were profound, and pitiful.  The emotions held for me on the alternative axis of reality prompted dread, and an anxious exhilaration simultaneously.  The magnitude and consequence of my disobedience, the quantum of emotions, bound to the consciousness shared with my celestial father aligned.  The gravity of the choices defining my life, temporal and eternal, clarified my disgrace.  I had no response of worth, and lacked the justification to express one.  Those choices… my choices: excuses, distractions, and deflections of responsibility summed to a contemptible certainty, and truth.  I dishonored the precious gift entrusted to me.  What remained in my life was an abbreviated opportunity I must not squander.  Salvaging the remnants of my soul required an unfamiliar and sustained effort for an uncertain end.  Shame shuttered my surroundings as I contemplated condemnation and the reserves of repentance available.

Changing a life like mine is not simple, nor is it linear.  It’s inordinately complicated with habits, appetites, and dependencies, perpetuating comfort and complacency - colluding to derail improvement.  Looking back on my life, and the damage inflicted from my heart and hand, will always be a legacy I am loathe to admit, but must.  Each day, if I accomplish a new good, I pray it eases God’s disappointment with me.  I earned whatever judgment comes my way.  What I hope to avoid is missing out on Divine Dad’s company.  With the secular blinders removed, I’ve grown to like and admire him.  I want to learn more from him.  If I miss out on his instruction I’ll have myself to blame.  For now, I’m content he is willing to assist me, provide direction, and love me.  Considering my past, I deserve other treatment.  Grace and compassion are a concept I’m slow to comprehend.  It’s that knucklehead part deeply ingrained within me.

The answer I'd discovered was affixed to a second realization - the external pressures of environment and society directly imperil the soul's integrity, ascension, and survival.  Spiritual salvation was necessarily compromised by the environment society creates.  It contributed to the physical content of the soul.  The concept of the afterlife and the physical reality that define and determine the soul's content integrated perfectly.  A sobering fear invaded my attention.  My failures with God were but a part of the offenses I permitted through my action and inaction.  My generation allowed and encouraged the demise of decency. We sat by and observed the secular confiscation of basic human liberties, and degradation of religion and God.  Secular interests conspired to eliminate Christianity and the ability of the individual soul to achieve salvation. We tolerated the depreciation of society to gluttonously indulge the appetites the depreciation freed.  Too few of my ilk objected. Contemporaneously, Christians and other religions bickered over technical deviations derived from hair splitting on scriptural interpretation.  Infighting was easier than confronting the enemy that threatened God – secular humanism and moral equivalency .

The revelation contained within the discovery led me to become a Moral Disciple.  My studies were only beginning.  I’d broadened my references.  Any source of information or history that pertains to Christ and God are valid references in my study – unless, in reading them I find irrelevant, or caustic material that contextually critiques Christianity, vilifies Christ, or gratuitously discredits God and religion seeking to support a secular worldview that purposely avoids intellectual honesty and contemptuously assaults Christianity misusing the First Amendment protection enumerated.  This journey of coherent spiritual discovery was an elucidating, powerful experience that altered my perspectives and changed my beliefs in a meaningful and permanent manner.

The Uncertainty Certainty - Preface

Hope is Secular Faith

            This study of uncertainty began as a fatherly duty.  It unexpectedly evolved to become a duty to my Father.  Learning why and how the duties shifted requires sharing the demons that inhabit my consciousness.  My consciousness is damaged.  Portions of my mind no longer operate rationally.  Certain projective mental functions are impossible.  A serious motorcycle accident in my late teens inflicted a head injury.  I twice died on the operating table.  The neurosurgeon performing the surgery to repair the depressed skull fracture, above the frontal lobe of my brain, correctly predicted personality changes might arise.  The accident, and the subsequent mental and physical trauma, bred a litany of incidental experiences that inevitably led to my belief nothing is reliable or predictable.  My difficulties deliberating are complicated with the misfortunes and challenges an Absent Parent instills in a child.  God is particularly capricious in my experiences.  The term Absent Parent is appropriate.  His lack of attention and intervention consistently imparted despair into my life.  The consequence of my chosen behaviors, sans the Almighty’s influence, inured the unorthodox opinions I grew to prefer.  The incongruence of my consciousness, and unintended collateral consequences, combined with Murphy’s Law to guarantee an uncertainty of outcomes prevailed - no matter what I did; or didn’t.  Uncertainty was the constant relied upon to calculate life’s contradictions and coordinate the confusion spawned. 

God betrayed me - twice.  I wasn’t providing him another opportunity to disappoint me, or hurt my family.  God became my adversary.  The despicable aspect of our “relationship” was the emotional quandary God’s uncertainty placed in my life.  Invalidating God, and removing him from consideration, became imperative.  Sustaining the fragile and circumspect version of in-sanity God’s absence inspired, and protecting my progeny (our progeny) from his perilous disregard, were obligations the Almighty’s cynical compassion predicated forty years ago. 

The circumstance of the accident presented a dilemma.  It occurred at the chapel where I attended seminary classes before school each morning.  Religion was then a positive and comprehensive influence in my life.  Attending church for some reason, or reasons, was a welcomed daily event.  The accident confused, then, terrified me.  Why God hadn’t protected me evolved into an emotional impasse, distorted by primordial fear.  God’s lack of intervention and obvious absence of concern, seeded questions and distilled doubt.  As I investigated scientific evidence on the validity of God’s existence and encountered an abundance of evidence indicating he didn’t, the discovery contorted reality.  The investigation also methodically discredited content in Christian scriptures.  As the contradictions mounted, sacred religious convictions imploded and uncertainty intensified.  Nothing I learned provided security.  Nor did my investigation calm the fears and doubt the accident introduced.  Animus towards God escalated proportional with the diminishing term of my life. 

Accepted academic protocols and scientific standards verified the contrary secular content.  Anger and fear buffeted uncertainty and removed any reluctance.  The profuse and consistent content left only one conclusion.  God was an artifice – primarily used used to control behaviors.  The latent uncertainty in various topics (including an afterlife promise) provided religion a cudgel to compel compliance.  Worship and belief in God was a punitive, perfunctory preoccupation that diminished life’s options.

The surgeon that performed the surgery wouldn’t, or couldn’t, provide me a positive prognosis.  I learned my life span was another casualty in the accident. The scope of injury, a depressed skull fracture, the location (frontal lobe), brain surgery, and installing a plate in my skull, summed to an ambiguous end.  I was lucky to be alive… very lucky. The surgeon’s facial expressions spoke a truth his words didn’t utter, during his terse, Latin laced, didactic.  He detailed the surgery and the preponderant, potential events that threatened my life, and my future, consequentially.  The collision permanently conveyed several adverse outcomes.  “Personality changes” were predicted axiomatically.  A frustrated expression preceded his admitting an undiagnosed and unanticipated malaise might also suddenly terminate life functions.  Indeterminate was the clinical term voiced describing my condition. 

The new circumstances framing my life, the duration, and assortment of unpredictable, perilous predicaments, made an uncertain prognosis appropriate.  My head, and the polymer plate within it, spun with his insight.  Death assumed a permanent, preeminent, status – A Priori.   Not knowing what might initiate one of the lethal outcomes, how it could occur, or if a simple, innocent choice might inadvertently compel death to claim my soul, brought a new definition of fear and trepidation that coerced my contemplation.  My mind went empty – save an obsessive focus on fear.  My body responded.  Fear puckered my “pride” and violated my masculinity.  As the days passed, the fear death stalked me intensified.  It infected my thoughts.  Planning ahead, contingency deliberations, and simple day dreams of pleasant aspiration, faded from significance, then disappeared entirely.  Fear consumed me. 

Time was running out.  With nothing to count on, or plan for, I pledged to taste sin and experience forbidden pleasures before I died.  I started smoking.  That brought me in contact with new associates at school who religiously gathered between classes, behind a dumpster, to smoke.  The associates belonged to the brainiac crowd.  They were kids from wealthy, professional families, whose parents demanded academic success.  Conversely, an interest in esoteric studies and commitment to unrestrained indulgence defined the collective ambitions of that era’s youth.  I think some of them enjoyed my innocence and saw an opportunity to adulterate me.  They invited me to indulge behaviors and activities my religious upbringing forbade.  I accepted the invitation.  Why not?  Obeying commandments didn’t improve my life.  I could die any day; and never know why.  God’s absent concern assured death was my unavoidable and ecumenical companion.

Smoking pot and drinking alcohol instead of attending classes became daily rituals I perfected.  My school attendance suffered.  I didn’t care. Reverting to behaviors I adopted in fifth grade to express my disdain with school didn’t surprise my parents.  I think they expected it.  My conflicts with, and at, schools were consistent, long-term, and based upon the tectonic pace of classroom instruction.  Attending eleven different elementary schools, and moving twice each year, compounded my early frustrations.  It assured friendships were transient and meaningless.  Formal education was a cruel, tedious, mental torture.  Becoming the class clown somewhat abated my frustrations, but placed me in a position where discipline became the primary focus of my instructors.  The bulk of my education came from independent study and a desire to outpace my classmates in command of the material studied.  Using the study paradigm provided me by a differential psychology professor who assessed my intellectual abilities at age ten, sufficed for accruing information, but rendered the classroom a combat arena.  My parents didn’t worry about my getting an education thereafter.  What they didn’t suspect were the unrighteous motivations I hid from them.  I knew overtly changing my beliefs and rejecting God would not be tolerated.  So, getting back at God by adopting rebellious behaviors at school provided the distraction needed to stabilize my fear and indulge a new belief set.  I chose Pantheism.  It’s like Christianity; only nature is responsible for everything.  That philosophy was an easy and practical fit.  

Shortly after choosing Pantheism, an unanticipated series of events occurred that cemented my doubts about religion and God.  The spectacular fall of a prominent and popular religious leader was reported in the press. The hypocrisy of his actions repudiated religion and denigrated God reflexively.  His disingenuous actions responding to being discovered impugned the benefits he asserted.  His remorse appeared staged and conveniently structured to retain his position of authority.  An honest and compassionate disciple would resign their position and begin repentance freed from the responsibilities of leadership, and to avoid the considerable negative consequences remaining in office assured.  The integrity of his beliefs, best exemplified in his chosen actions, shamed the moral superiority he claimed for the ministry, and himself.  More importantly, this failure indicted a popular assertion made by most religious denominations. The disgraced leader continued claiming his religion was the one (and only) “True” faith.  This assertion infers exclusive control over access to heaven.  Remarkably, the same absurd claim was made by numerous religions. Someone was obviously wrong and soon to be disappointed. Organized religion literally appeared incredible. 

Christianity’s Bible presented other problems.  Some information was disputable, and some was patently false.  Several significant events, and timelines, were glaringly inaccurate. Much was preposterous.  To be kind, the Bible contained numerous inconsistencies and contradictions.  Disturbingly, comparing religious tenets with scientific data presented irresolvable contradictions and disproven conjectures.  The troubling aspect was the secular and tangible evidence science produced (that many intellectuals term irrefutable) religion overtly rejected.  Collectively, Christianity’s reluctance to accept the ample and obvious information refuting scriptural conclusions, and dogma, reconfirmed the rational conclusions, and negative opinions, and a lucid mind takes on the topic of God.  Religion’s veracity and believability were tied to the same interpretation.  God wasn’t concerned about me.  His absence when I most needed him proved it.  Eliminating religion from my life was a necessary consequence of God’s betrayal.  Anger and fear made certain no other options were considered.

Replacing a life-long commitment to God, and attendant religious obligations, meant embracing a new ideology. Concluding God is a myth was a considerate opinion, supported with legitimate and copious, academic, secular evidence.  The information produced in my studies left few areas to debate.  Religion was a fundamentally dishonest exercise that required a person fund an organization that employed disingenuous, hypocritical leadership.  Religion additionally mandated numerous disputable, and many scientifically impossible, beliefs.  I felt liberated and finally able to explore life unrestrained.  When death came to claim me, I wanted to be drenched with experiences that provided me pleasure and sated my curiosity.  If the near death experience proved anything, it was obeying commandments didn’t assure God’s beneficence.  Belief in God required denying behaviors that complimented natural desires.  If no one was harmed, what was the point of abstinence?  Engaging enticing experiences quickly diminished any interest, or recollection, of religion.

The above accurately defined my attitude when I initiated the study that led to this composition.  In no way, was I motivated to reconcile with God or find evidence that supported his existence.  An opposite objective inspired me.  The circumstances that prompted the study presented a dubious dichotomy.  I wanted to truthfully answer my son’s concern about his recently deceased mother’s eternal disposition, and, retain my estranged relationship with the Almighty.  Legitimately answering the question required discovering a “something” (information and/or evidence) my son would hopefully interpret as proof his mother was in heaven.  Unfortunately, the objective of the study conflicted with my personal philosophy, and disposition of conscience.  It was compromised from the start.  I’d previously adapted to the uncertainty of life and certainty of no afterlife.   Even if God was real, I wasn’t eligible for his favor.  In parts of my life, I indulged to excess and more… much more – reacting to his first betrayal.  My absent academic credentials, past decision taking, and the behaviors that followed, made me a bad candidate to answer the question with any integrity.  However, my duties as a father and love for my family previously moved me to (temporarily) change my behaviors.  I would again place the needs of my family first, deny my wont, and persevere to answer my son’s question as best I might.  Finding an answer was not guaranteed, and I suspected one of us would be disappointed with the answer. 

Using a staff of trepidation, and uncertainty as a guide, a remarkable journey ensued.  The process significantly added to my intellect and radically altered beliefs secured through study and secular evidence.  The information discovered changed my perceptions about the meaning of life and purpose of a consciousness, or soul.  It abruptly dissolved the secular information I prudently collected over decades to bolster my allegiance to Pantheism.  Discovering eternal life is more than possible will leave a mark on your conscience and consciousness.  Examining the topic’s “potential” commands a mind to honestly scrutinize the considerable precepts that form the foundation of secular, scientific credibility, and, the attendant comforts.  Legitimately entertaining the information and evidence supporting the proposition of eternity requires admitting uncertainty; and the numerous unknowns; blatantly, and conveniently, ignored to advance into realms that are not presently accessible. The realms are tempting, but not recognizing the inherent, incredible, suppositions (used to predict the realm’s content) is prohibitive to retaining philosophical and intellectual honesty.  Size and distance often precludes tangible, accurate, and verifiable investigation.  Moreover, philosophy demands admitting an unknown when the unknown is absolutely not verifiable, using the traditional conventions that define the implicit “Method” - claimed to venerate the processes of inquiry. Conjecture in these instances is more than improper.  Conjecture becomes an overtly mendacious act that inexorably leads to deceit.  Treachery is not a term most people convey to science and academe, but, unfortunately, it is deservedly applicable.  Extending nominal behavioral traits of the human organism, or proposing analogous motivations, to scientists is seldom, if ever, considered; due to the indelible consequence of those actions.  If science and academe are riddled with the same passions, appetites, and dependencies, of mankind, the veracity of their work product axiomatically becomes vulnerable to pedestrian temptations that nefariously infect all mankind and their work product.  Precision, and concordant truth’s and credibility, are the unavoidable casualties. 

Would science betray their profession and integrity to obtain the standing, renown, and fortune available from promulgating a communal mendacity? Is it possible the ambitions to retain funding that perpetuates and expands research, or, provides the ancillary professional opportunities (and security), only available when the scientist provides a fiscal benefactor essential information required to stabilize, and expand, the benefactor’s influence over the public for self serving ends? The study provides insight, and an unanticipated peace.  Peace is an absence of fear and uncertainty.  That peace is what motivated this composition.  It was divinely inspired and I am obligated to share it. 

The information realized from the study is useful to people ambivalent about the Almighty – God.  This includes agnostics and others who are uncertain a God, or Gods, exist. However, holding a religious preference is immaterial.  People like me, who have no faith, face internal and external conflicts that compromise spiritual reconciliation, or a continuity of conscience.  The purpose, the relevance, and meaning of (and in) a person’s life, are questions science and academe cannot resolve.  Everyone wants to know their significance and the reason for their being.  No matter how that continuity is constituted, or what God a person chooses, the study’s content will help reconcile spiritual and cognitive dilemmas.  It may provide a path to permanently resolve doubts on divinity.  Certain evidence unexpectedly did that for me. 

The day my mind placed the final pieces that solved the puzzle before me tempted every emotion and rational conflict I knew.  Contradictions and insolvency surfaced.  The realization destroyed a self-serving sense of intellectual superiority I spent four decades compiling.  The day I confronted the answers contained in uncertainty left me drained and dumbfounded.  Achieving equilibrium within that inevitable surety, and finding peace within my consciousness, became imperative.  My studying seeking information that disproved discovery intensified.  Unfortunately, so did the information supporting the initial conclusion made.  My consciousness slowly acquiesced, kicking and screaming, to accept the evidence of eternity’s inevitability.

The consciousness is an indispensable ingredient in this study. The physical components and the associated properties of the matter comprising the consciousness are explored.  The relevant questions regarding the content of the consciousness are its ability to constitute a human soul and achieve an eternal state.  To verify that concept the operational dynamics of the consciousness are examined and detailed; as they pertain to an afterlife potential, and, how a person negotiates this earthly life influences their eligibility for the afterlife.  The requisite ingredients of consciousness presumed necessary to achieve, and sustain, viability in the conditional afterlife construct, are determined scientifically and pantheistically.  Portions of the composition articulate protocols and interpretations of science and physics.

The investigation also unveiled unavoidable, adverse influences.  The restrictions and limitations society, law making, court decisions, and the earthly environment generically impose upon the consciousness are considerable.  The significance of the encounters; how these interactions with specific environments enhance, or depreciate, the composition and content of the consciousness, and thereby its ability to endure the environmental demands resident in a hypothetical afterlife, are deduced and evaluated.

The obvious implications for the study are to substantiate a hypothetical construct for an afterlife, and, how the afterlife depreciates, or collaterally affirms, God exists.  Standard religious reference standards are obligatory components.  Physical evidence, “facts”, and phenomenon accepted by science are incorporated to support the potential for eternal life using methods and criteria required in a comprehensive secular examination.  The study investigated numerous and diverse resources and references.  Some peculiar evidence and phenomena are acquired from quantum physics protocols and discovery.  Alternative methods of inquiry and unconventional resources were also employed - as needed for coordination and comparison.  Constituting a comprehensive resource set with a cohesive evaluation of the interpretations and findings to present a rational and credible decision on the God topic, was the primary objective that evolved into an obligation. 

The Sentience Thesis was unexpectedly discovered.  The Thesis content is obtained from analyzing the outcome of a quantum physics experiment, and examining supplemental evidence.  A structured, rational, and logical supposition on the components that enable and augment earthly life is the result.  The Thesis forms the nexus for the conclusions and assertions made regarding the composition of the consciousness and its relationship to an afterlife and Supreme Being. 

The pervasive evidence and the obvious interpretation of the phenomena present were reliable factors investigated and utilized in forming the Thesis.  Curiously, science occasionally ignores or depreciates the “obvious” for what appear very unscientific, questionable reasons.  Occam’s razor was deployed with honesty and consensus.  Elliptical, obtuse reasoning and interpretation was avoided or clarified with supplementary evidence.  Achieving many of the objectives in the study often required dissecting the bias and prejudice commonly found in didactic associated with large, complex organizations that wield considerable power and influence.  Science, academe, government, and religion, qualify as organizations that embrace and expound sympathetic, perfunctory, orthodoxy dogmatically.  Extracting credible, unadulterated, information from these collaborations is no easy task.  Collecting unfettered and dispassionate information to utilize in the study was cumbersome, and at times impossible.  Fortunately, sufficient data was acquired to realize the study’s objectives.  The products derived from the study and the conclusions deduced from them, verify and validate the potential for a God existing; in fact, and the reader’s lives. 

Many perspectives and alternative interpretations on the existence of a God, or Gods were encountered and incorporated.  That enabled a comprehensive analysis of the divine, and provided a diversity of opinions on the ever popular, overtly nebulous, and the difficult to impossible to define: “Meaning of Life”.  Why any of us are here, and the confusion saddled on that query, has evaded mankind from the beginning – regardless of how a person defines that question.  Each person interprets the concept of significance using uniquely personal factors.  The thousands of philosophical publications composed over millennia all sought the answer to that question.  The majority of authors constructed the question(s) and conclusion(s) from their personal experiences - and any professional objectives and opportunities available.  The notoriety and income potential resident in the philosophical composition afforded prestige and influence.  Those opportunities inspired many authors to make the effort, and colored their conclusions.  Others sought to meet the needs they assessed (and projected) in their targeted audiences. 

Religion and science both seek the answer.  Both believe they hold exclusive rights to the answer, but none of them satisfied my version of the question.  They can’t.  I’m a knucklehead who purposely sought evidence to dismiss God so I could rebel, insult God, and indulge my appetites freed from concern.  Flaunting my Free Will at the deity who provided it (then betrayed me) was an appropriate solution to the anxiety and angst that permeated my consciousness. 

Discovering the meaning of life for a lucid and curious mind won’t come from a book, or a sermon.  Each person finds an answer that satisfies their unique perspective and needs.  The answer is contingent upon a person searching the resources available, and employing the energy required to sate their unique curiosity.  In my instances, decades define the increments of inquiry.  Do not despair.  The answer is worth the effort and this composition will hopefully assist that pursuit.  The information and evidence the study unveiled should help close a few open doors for those who require secular “Proof”.

For charity’s sake, and to fulfil a righteous directive, Atheists are invited to explore the study’s findings.  They are not considered in the target audience because atheists do not believe in God or the concept of God.  Most atheists claim science has proven God is an unsubstantiated and unverifiable figment of an incontinent imagination.  They are typically intolerant of the doctrine and views embraced by religious people.  Why atheists remain abreast of religion’s every move, and current theological events, is curious.  The verbosity and venom they persistently spew upon Christianity suggests they are obsessed with beliefs they deem incredible and irrelevant.  Atheists are an odd cadre who view consistency, and comity, with suspicion.  The behaviors displayed, and the opinions voiced, are conspicuously corrosive. The role of atheism within a secular, contemporary social and cultural, confederation is imperative.  Atheists are the attack dogs that insult and denigrate religion and God incessantly. 

The study of Uncertainty began in 2004.  The death of my twenty-year spouse; the mother of my children, prompted a question from our youngest son: “Is Mom in heaven?”  Answering that question was more difficult than I ever surmised.  It spanned a couple of years and eventually included: generic scientific protocols and reference standards, the disciplines of quantum and classic physics, cosmology, biology, organized religions and conventional theological tenets and scriptures, the Apocrypha, Western European and US history, social constructs, geo-political ideologies, and, individual motivations, decision taking, and the resulting behaviors.  These disciplines combine to provide comprehensive, relevant information that influences views on the concept of God – individual and societal.  What you are, is matter of birth.  Who you are, is matter of choice. 

Personal and professional responsibilities postponed assembling the information discovered until a decade later.   My ability to compile the study required a significant change of circumstances that afforded me time and indulged the emotional instability finishing the work entailed.  A personal assistant entered my life.  Her kind, ever cheerful, professional and grounded efforts introduced efficiency to my obsessive-compulsive personality.  She tolerated my moods while providing critical direction and occasionally the encouragement; needed to re-focus and re-aligned a temperament some hurtfully term “bi-polar”.  In addition to her nominal duties, she coaxed my increasingly crippled and arthritic body to complete this book, and my obligation to God.

This woman, endowed with patience similar to Job, agreed to be my wife before assuming her role as P.A.  She is proof God loves me.  Moreover, she is evidence God has a forgiving heart and a soft spot for prodigal progeny.  I don’t deserve her - as you will learn.  My past decisions and behaviors will not place me on the short list for heaven.  Those behaviors, and the choices leading to them, are a reference manual for self-absorbed destruction that serves as a warning to people who value their self-respect and sanity.  Those years are not a time I enjoy recalling.  They contain events that reflect unfavorably, but accurately define, who I was: a cold, selfish, wanton, and narcissistic personality who found meaning in spreading misery and destroying obstacles in my life. 

I genuinely worry Sherry will one morning awake from her stupor and quietly leave me.  Why she finds the means to see the good in me, and labors to nurture and grow that limited quantity, befuddles me – not that befuddling me is a terribly difficult talent.  She is kind to me.  She always provides a smile, a hug, and kiss when we meet and depart company, or the mood strikes her.  She genuinely appears to love me, and that breaks my heart.  The contradictions present in self-evaluation and her treatment of me are considerable and confounding.  They added a new word to my vocabulary - contrite.  I don’t understand her loving me. She deserves a better spouse.  But as our time together grows, I’m increasingly dependent on her.  I love and need her – God knows how much I do.  As noted above, she is proof God loves me and evidence human beings can, and do, assimilate and expound Christ’s charity and compassion.